"...this led me to think...is marriage a place of suffering??? Does a marriage certificate allow a person to treat his spouse with ignorance?..."
That was the heartcry of a woman who glimpsed on the dark side of a "union between a man and a woman"...(the writer does not support any other definition of marriage)
I believe that this is also the cry of countless other hearts...
A prominent pastor once asked his parents about the secret of building a strong marriage...
Their answer : "...that is because we never thought of divorce as an option..."
Sigh...
Isn't that the root cause of many problems in marriage? Just because you're married does that mean you stop loving each other? Wooing each other? Caring for each other? Caressing each other? Whispering sweet nothings to each other?...
What about in the winter days when your woman was caught in the rain and you cancelled all your appointments just to pick and warm her up?...
What about in the summer days when your man was dying of thirst and you showed up with his favourite Gelato and a homemade watermelon juice?...
All these for what? For winning each other's hearts...because you were afraid of losing each other...
Now where have they gone?
All because "...divorce is never an option..." You think that you won't lose each other ANYWAY...
A friend said to me once...Familiarity breeds contempt...and children...
Oh how sad but true it is...
Just wait a minute...does this mean I am advocating "Divorce"? Does this mean everytime a couple has a problem, then the "D" option is put on the table?
Let me ask you...
Who would ever (in his right mind) like to undergo separation?
Try to cut your arms, break your legs, go to dentist and have your wisdom tooth extracted...
If only Earth and Carrot could talk, they would wail each time we wrench the roots out for our stomach...
So why do people still go for it?...
Whether or not Divorce is an option is NEVER the point...
The issue is...maybe they have never been really together?...
Now you ask...how to be really together?...
Fourteen hours of flight from SFO to HKIA could have bored me to death. Thank God for a nice seat beside the emergency exit and two great movies...
I call them "Inflight Inspirations"...
...Listen. All around you are spirits, child. They live in the earth, the water, the sky. If you listen, they will guide you...Listen with your heart...You will understand...
Grandma Willow to Pocahontas when Pocahontas was confused of what to do - Pocahontas
Somewhere in that pad of stuffing is a toy who taught me that life's only worth living if you're being loved by a kid. And I travelled all this way to rescue that toy because I believed him.
Buzz Lightyear to Woody when Woody refused to go back to Andy, knowing that Andy would grow up and discard him anyway - Toy Story 2
If only we continue to listen with our hearts, live for each other, believe each other...
Then the roots of love will grow deeper and stronger...intricately intertwined...binding our hearts till death do us apart...
And when that time comes...Earth and Carrot would smile as we wail...knowing that we know what they feel...
Sigh...
Would I trade You for anything or anyone else?...
Or would You trade me for anything or anyone else?...
Seeking - the most basic instinct that a lifeform has. It is the desire to seek out matters important to its life while life has not left it. And as long as the desire has not been gratified... the journey goes on...
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About Me
- Ricco Li
- Hong Kong
- I am a seeker... This blog is written to convey my thoughts, my findings, not just some ramblings about my daily life. So I try my best to write meaningful statements in every sentence. And I try to come up with different things every time I have the chance... Hope you'll find enlightenment through my writings
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2 comments:
First of all, you have to stop sighing. Seriously. If you start by viewing the institution of marriage as doomed to fail, then it pretty much lost all meaning.
I think we can all agree that there's no such thing as "happily ever after" that happens without effort. And I'm sure you agree that it's not always rainbows and butterflies. It's natural for relationships to change as change in itself is constant in life, hence, expecting something to stay constant is foolish, let alone selfish.
No one goes into marriage hoping or expecting that the D-train is waiting at the end of the tunnel, but we should accept the reality that it's possible. I believe, imho, that if we accept this fact, it'll be easier for us to face it. Avoiding it or feeling that the subject is out of question, or to the point that it's taboo to touch actually makes us more vulnerable to it.
Anyways, that's what I feel about the matter. Divorce, no matter how much we hate it, is a part of reality. We should accept it as that, and in turn learn how to work around it. And marriage, Mignon McLaughlin once said "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." And I guess I'll leave it at that.
Cheerio!
Dear anonymous,
Thanks for your comment. It's interesting to know that I gave u the impression that I think marriage is doomed to fail, which I did not intend to...
If you think that I'm trying to avoid the subject of divorce, then it's a waste of time writing this entry because this entry is precisely about it. Indeed divorce is always one of the options, yet instead of thinking about it, why don't we focus our energy on preventing that to happen?
About sighing, that's what I do when I'm pondering about something...it doesn't mean I that I have negative point of view on something
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