Every year...the songs are the same...the decorations are pretty much the same...the discounts are somewhat the same...
Someone asked me if I would go to church on Christmas Eve. I said no and she said...be careful of sinning... Heck, she is not even a Christ believer and dared to warn me about sinning by not going to church on Christmas eve? Anyway, I just smiled and said nothing...
About a week ago I went to a Christmas party at a famous bar in Shanghai. The MC asked us to write down the meaning of Christmas on a card which would be shared among all of us. I paused for a while and wonder...Christmas...hmm...I guess maybe it's a meaningful day...so many people celebrate it...I just don't know what it is to me...
Oh well, I could give standard answers such as...Christmas is the joyous time when the Light of the world was born in a manger that represented our filthy and dark hearts. The news was first given to the shepherds while the world was sleeping and ignorant because The Lord remembered and cared for the lowly ones. Even the so called "not God's people" caught His star and labored through dark and arduous journey to meet and worship Him...while the so called "God's people" only theorized about His birth but never lifted a finger to really seek Him (yeah well, they only lifted their fingers to turn the pages of their sacred book...but that did not equate to seeking Him)...and so on and so forth...
Sigh...all those standard answers that I could find through the books...I feel that I am not satisfied with them. I never mean that those answers are wrong...they are as true as the stars above...Yet my nature compels me to seek something different...something that could bring me to a new level of enlightenment...
Funny thing is...the Bible never commands Christ believers to remember His birth. The Bible only commands them to remember His death until He comes again...Then why would Christmas be celebrated so much more than the Passion and Passover?
You could hear this "interesting" conversation between a mother and her little child in a mall that has a nativity scene: Oh...oh...look at that...that is baby Jesus in a manger...that is Joseph His dad and that is Mary His mother...EXCUSE ME!!! the Bible never teaches Christ believers that Joseph was Jesus' father and Mary was His mother. Even Jesus Himself never called Mary "Mother", He called her "Woman"...They were only slaves of the Most High...earthen vessels like other faithfuls...ready to carry out responsibilities...Who are we to call Joseph His father and Mary His mother???...
I guess...I am sick of Christmas...
It has veiled the Creator as a harmless baby...so cute and innocent...so weak and dependent...
And maybe that is why the world celebrates Christmas more than Passion...since it is so much easier and acceptable to remember Him as a baby...instead of the conquering Warrior...
Sigh...
Maybe I am just being unfair here...After all, there would not be Passion without Christmas...
So still I say to you my friends and my readers...
Merry Christmas...
May you find the Christ of Christmas amidst shopping sale and glittering trees...
...I remember that You died and rose again...
...I remember that You will come again...
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
The Power of Love IV - In Search of the Harmless Apple
I stopped by and read a notice posted on a wall. 'twas an ad for a play entitled: "In Search of the Harmless Apple"...
I did not know what was in the play...yet, I was intrigued by the title...
My imagination was carried far back to the past...when the world was not as crowded, chaotic, violent, polluted and complicated as the present...
...when the world was like...a garden...
In this garden, there were many many kinds of animals, trees, plants...fruits... Everything was so delightful, colorful, beautiful, peaceful...nothing short of being...magnificent...
The garden was tended by two gardeners...a man...and a woman...They lived freely and joyfully, enjoying all the good things that the Owner of the garden had provided...
There was only but one rule...a rule defined by the Owner...a rule that would change the gardeners' lives and their offspring...forever...
The rule said:
...of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat...but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it...for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
I could not help but ask...what was that tree for? I mean, as a father...I would not purposely put a knife in front of my child and tell him not to touch it...cause I knew he would and he would hurt himself as a result...
If only that tree was not there...there would not be birth pangs...wars...diseases...divorces...poverty...
If only that snake was not there...
If only that fruit suddenly disappeared...
If only the Owner stepped forward right in time...
If only...
Some people theorize about tests, free will, faith, etc...which I do not find satisfying...
So what I can only do is trying to find the Owner and ask Him...
Man: Mr Garden Owner?
Garden Owner: Yes?
M: I wonder what that tree was doing there?
GO: Huh??
M: If You did not wish the gardeners to have anything to do with that tree...why did You cause that tree to grow? Why did You not tell Your gardeners to cut it down? Or You could call some worms to wither it...there were so many ways to get rid of that tree...
GO: I see...
M: Also that snake...I mean...was it not very easy for You to grab its neck...twist it and silence it forever...
GO: Hmmm...
M: And...and...one more thing...You could have suddenly stepped in...smack your gardeners a little bit to wake them up...and still I really love the idea of You twisting the snake's neck...
GO: ...
M: Do You not have anything to say?
GO: There is only one answer I could give to you...
M: And that is?
GO: ...so that the greatest story of all could be told...
M: Huh...???
GO: Yes...!!!
(selah)
Mr Garden Owner...aka Master of the Universe...aka Master Designer...aka Master Storyteller...aka Master of Dreams...aka Master of Destinies...
Who has designed a story that would captivate all dreams and influence all destinies. A story about the loving relationship between Father and Son...broken for reasons beyond wildest imaginations...(read my september entry... The Power of Love - For The First Time in Eternity...)
If it were not for that tree...this story would not come to pass...
It began from a tree...it ended on a tree...
And if we would still ask why...it would show our ignorance of the story...
And so the story shall be retold...over and over again...from generations to generations...in ever increasing glory...healing nations by nations...leading peoples by peoples...
to the tree of life...
...I love You because I love You...
I did not know what was in the play...yet, I was intrigued by the title...
My imagination was carried far back to the past...when the world was not as crowded, chaotic, violent, polluted and complicated as the present...
...when the world was like...a garden...
In this garden, there were many many kinds of animals, trees, plants...fruits... Everything was so delightful, colorful, beautiful, peaceful...nothing short of being...magnificent...
The garden was tended by two gardeners...a man...and a woman...They lived freely and joyfully, enjoying all the good things that the Owner of the garden had provided...
There was only but one rule...a rule defined by the Owner...a rule that would change the gardeners' lives and their offspring...forever...
The rule said:
...of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat...but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it...for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
בראשית 2:16-17
Fast forward thousands of years later...the gardeners failed to keep the rule. They were banished from the garden...had to toil for their lives...and likewise...their offspring...I could not help but ask...what was that tree for? I mean, as a father...I would not purposely put a knife in front of my child and tell him not to touch it...cause I knew he would and he would hurt himself as a result...
If only that tree was not there...there would not be birth pangs...wars...diseases...divorces...poverty...
If only that snake was not there...
If only that fruit suddenly disappeared...
If only the Owner stepped forward right in time...
If only...
Some people theorize about tests, free will, faith, etc...which I do not find satisfying...
So what I can only do is trying to find the Owner and ask Him...
Man: Mr Garden Owner?
Garden Owner: Yes?
M: I wonder what that tree was doing there?
GO: Huh??
M: If You did not wish the gardeners to have anything to do with that tree...why did You cause that tree to grow? Why did You not tell Your gardeners to cut it down? Or You could call some worms to wither it...there were so many ways to get rid of that tree...
GO: I see...
M: Also that snake...I mean...was it not very easy for You to grab its neck...twist it and silence it forever...
GO: Hmmm...
M: And...and...one more thing...You could have suddenly stepped in...smack your gardeners a little bit to wake them up...and still I really love the idea of You twisting the snake's neck...
GO: ...
M: Do You not have anything to say?
GO: There is only one answer I could give to you...
M: And that is?
GO: ...so that the greatest story of all could be told...
M: Huh...???
GO: Yes...!!!
(selah)
Mr Garden Owner...aka Master of the Universe...aka Master Designer...aka Master Storyteller...aka Master of Dreams...aka Master of Destinies...
Who has designed a story that would captivate all dreams and influence all destinies. A story about the loving relationship between Father and Son...broken for reasons beyond wildest imaginations...(read my september entry... The Power of Love - For The First Time in Eternity...)
If it were not for that tree...this story would not come to pass...
It began from a tree...it ended on a tree...
And if we would still ask why...it would show our ignorance of the story...
And so the story shall be retold...over and over again...from generations to generations...in ever increasing glory...healing nations by nations...leading peoples by peoples...
to the tree of life...
...I love You because I love You...
The Power of Love III - Is God an Egoist?
...God is love...
ΙΩΑΝΝΟΥ Α΄ 4:8
You never actually love others...You only love what you think about others...
a buddhism philosophy...
It's kinda true though...value is in the eye of the beholder. Two different persons perceive one same thing differently. Someone could be lovable in the eyes of one while at the same time being irritating in the eyes of another.
Consequently, there is no such thing as "being selfless"...because whatever we do...we do it for ourselves, we only do it for the love of doing it, we take pleasure in doing things for others, we do it because we want to do it, we do it because of...us. The object of the action is ourselves...not the other party...
Let me ask you men...Why do you want women?
Let me ask you women...Why do you want men?
Let me ask you people...Why do you do charitable acts?
Let me ask you soldiers...Why do you lay down your life in war?
Are you sure that you are focusing on others...not on your own desires?
What about hermits? Those who claim that the path to purification and happiness is through isolation and freedom from desires...are they not doing it out of their desire to be free from desires?
Shall I take it further?...What about the supposedly Most Perfect Being in the Universe?...What about God?
This is...
The Being Who stated that He is the jealous One...
The Being Who wanted everything humans are and have...
The Being Who commanded worship towards Him alone...
The Being Who designed everything to culminate in His existence...
Is this Being...an Egoist?...And oh by the way...this is the same Being Who defined Himself as...love...
But...is it fair to say that God is an Egoist?
Look what I've got from dictionary.com
e¡¤go¡¤ist
1. a self-centered or selfish person (opposed to altruist).
2. an arrogantly conceited person; egotist.
3. an adherent of the metaphysical principle of the ego, or self; solipsist.
Conceited...arrogant...selfish...self-centered...are these really the characteristics of God?
Sigh...
Maybe....
Maybe He's conceited...Who insists that no one else could do what He can...
Maybe He's arrogant...Who thinks that He alone is worthy of worship...
Maybe He's selfish...Who wants everything that humans are and have...
Maybe He's self-centered...Who designs everything to culminate in His existence...
But something else in me cries out...
What if indeed no one else could do what He can?
What if indeed no one else is worthy of worship except Him alone?
What if indeed nothing on earth that does not belong to Him?
What if...what if....what if indeed everything that He has created...found fulfillment in Him that could never be found elsewhere?
Therefore even if we call Him an Egoist...is this a blasphemy? Or is this a realization that every faithful must have in order to know Him?
Another question...
By defining Himself as love...does this also mean He never actually love...other than Himself?
Ah...
Maybe we are all designed in this way...
We are all self-lovers...and there is nothing wrong with it...
For the best thing a person could do to love himself is by loving others...for self-love finds its highest fulfillment through loving others...
And thus the virtuous cycle goes on...
Feeding itself...Ever growing...
Attaining perfection...
In Him alone...
...God so loved the world...that He gave...His only Son...
ΙΩΑΝΝΟΥ Α΄ 4:8
You never actually love others...You only love what you think about others...
a buddhism philosophy...
It's kinda true though...value is in the eye of the beholder. Two different persons perceive one same thing differently. Someone could be lovable in the eyes of one while at the same time being irritating in the eyes of another.
Consequently, there is no such thing as "being selfless"...because whatever we do...we do it for ourselves, we only do it for the love of doing it, we take pleasure in doing things for others, we do it because we want to do it, we do it because of...us. The object of the action is ourselves...not the other party...
Let me ask you men...Why do you want women?
Let me ask you women...Why do you want men?
Let me ask you people...Why do you do charitable acts?
Let me ask you soldiers...Why do you lay down your life in war?
Are you sure that you are focusing on others...not on your own desires?
What about hermits? Those who claim that the path to purification and happiness is through isolation and freedom from desires...are they not doing it out of their desire to be free from desires?
Shall I take it further?...What about the supposedly Most Perfect Being in the Universe?...What about God?
This is...
The Being Who stated that He is the jealous One...
The Being Who wanted everything humans are and have...
The Being Who commanded worship towards Him alone...
The Being Who designed everything to culminate in His existence...
Is this Being...an Egoist?...And oh by the way...this is the same Being Who defined Himself as...love...
But...is it fair to say that God is an Egoist?
Look what I've got from dictionary.com
e¡¤go¡¤ist
1. a self-centered or selfish person (opposed to altruist).
2. an arrogantly conceited person; egotist.
3. an adherent of the metaphysical principle of the ego, or self; solipsist.
Conceited...arrogant...selfish...self-centered...are these really the characteristics of God?
Sigh...
Maybe....
Maybe He's conceited...Who insists that no one else could do what He can...
Maybe He's arrogant...Who thinks that He alone is worthy of worship...
Maybe He's selfish...Who wants everything that humans are and have...
Maybe He's self-centered...Who designs everything to culminate in His existence...
But something else in me cries out...
What if indeed no one else could do what He can?
What if indeed no one else is worthy of worship except Him alone?
What if indeed nothing on earth that does not belong to Him?
What if...what if....what if indeed everything that He has created...found fulfillment in Him that could never be found elsewhere?
Therefore even if we call Him an Egoist...is this a blasphemy? Or is this a realization that every faithful must have in order to know Him?
Another question...
By defining Himself as love...does this also mean He never actually love...other than Himself?
Ah...
Maybe we are all designed in this way...
We are all self-lovers...and there is nothing wrong with it...
For the best thing a person could do to love himself is by loving others...for self-love finds its highest fulfillment through loving others...
And thus the virtuous cycle goes on...
Feeding itself...Ever growing...
Attaining perfection...
In Him alone...
...God so loved the world...that He gave...His only Son...
Thursday, December 13, 2007
The Purpose of Life V - Crossroads
Had a small gathering with friends yesterday and we have an unwritten rule...
The rule is...each one of us has to share about our problems and feelings before the others - otherwise he/she would be ostracized...
(nah...not that bad...)
Here is the list of problems...
- Two are quitting their jobs...having a problem with talking to their bosses about this...One is for marriage reason, another is for business reason...
- One is getting bored with work...contemplating on the next move...
- One is...sad...for the others around are getting married and seems lost of what to do next...
- Others are just problems with getting along at work, finding an apartment, office administration and family matters...
Not saying that the other problems are not important...but I'd like to focus on the first three...
Because they depict a situation where everyone must face in his/her life...at some point in time...
And if it is unsuitably handled...my...my...what a regret...that would follow...
Some time back I wrote about Roadmaps of life...
How I wish that I could find out for sure what is next...How I wish that I had the crystal ball in my hands...How I wish that I could invent a time machine to allow me travel back and forth in time...How I wish that I could help my friends to take them out of their confusion...How I wish that I could get MYSELF out of my confusion too...
But I don't have the answers...and that is the only honest answer I have...
I loved the third sharing. She was so frank with herself and with us. At her age she is pushed to get married by her family. She is sad because her cousins are getting married, her sister was married at her age and right now...she is jobless...clueless and "loveless"... No matter what excuses she has made to answer the "nagging and inconsiderate" questions from others...deep down, she knows...she is still unhappy of her condition...
Sigh...
Come to think of it...what is the purpose of life? Is it to experience all these painful emotions? And if I extend it even further to the Middle East or the wars in Africa financed by blood diamonds...what is life about then?
Ashes to ashes...dust to dust...
Thou art born of earth...
To earth shalt thee be gone...
Part of Nature art thou...
One with Nature shalt thee be...
And so the cycle is completed...
With Him in the midst...
...
Still above all...
Be Thou forever...
Glorified...
The rule is...each one of us has to share about our problems and feelings before the others - otherwise he/she would be ostracized...
(nah...not that bad...)
Here is the list of problems...
- Two are quitting their jobs...having a problem with talking to their bosses about this...One is for marriage reason, another is for business reason...
- One is getting bored with work...contemplating on the next move...
- One is...sad...for the others around are getting married and seems lost of what to do next...
- Others are just problems with getting along at work, finding an apartment, office administration and family matters...
Not saying that the other problems are not important...but I'd like to focus on the first three...
Because they depict a situation where everyone must face in his/her life...at some point in time...
And if it is unsuitably handled...my...my...what a regret...that would follow...
Some time back I wrote about Roadmaps of life...
How I wish that I could find out for sure what is next...How I wish that I had the crystal ball in my hands...How I wish that I could invent a time machine to allow me travel back and forth in time...How I wish that I could help my friends to take them out of their confusion...How I wish that I could get MYSELF out of my confusion too...
But I don't have the answers...and that is the only honest answer I have...
I loved the third sharing. She was so frank with herself and with us. At her age she is pushed to get married by her family. She is sad because her cousins are getting married, her sister was married at her age and right now...she is jobless...clueless and "loveless"... No matter what excuses she has made to answer the "nagging and inconsiderate" questions from others...deep down, she knows...she is still unhappy of her condition...
Sigh...
Come to think of it...what is the purpose of life? Is it to experience all these painful emotions? And if I extend it even further to the Middle East or the wars in Africa financed by blood diamonds...what is life about then?
Ashes to ashes...dust to dust...
Thou art born of earth...
To earth shalt thee be gone...
Part of Nature art thou...
One with Nature shalt thee be...
And so the cycle is completed...
With Him in the midst...
...
Still above all...
Be Thou forever...
Glorified...
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Hairy Plaster...The Villain Code...then what???
Never heard of those "movie titles" above?
Hairy Plaster - It is about a young boy named Hairy who happened to be the descendant of a very powerful wizard. He had to work his way up to be one too and joined the battle of "good" vs "evil". Erm...not surprisingly, the boy Hairy is supposedly the "good" one...
How bout the other one?
The Villain Code - It is a story about a renowned renaissance artist who "encoded" many secrets in his infamous painting...telling viewers that the Christian God in the form of flesh - had sex with one of his fans and bore descendant...A middle-aged Harvard professor of religious symbology (Erm...don't even know if that faculty exists) was compelled to investigate the matter but some group was trying to hide this "fact" - even up to the point of carrying out murder plots...and so...another battle of "good" vs "evil"....
And now...the latest movie...The Golden Compass...
I don't know much about this since it has not hit the streets yet. All I know - this is also another movie that the Catholic Church is against of...urging Christians not to "support" it by buying the tickets for themselves or their children.
I wonder why...Why are people looking for opportunities to "disgrace"..."discredit"..."dismantle"..."dis..." Christianity???
I want to know if these cowards could do the same thing to the religion that thrives through the sword...
There is a saying in Chinese that roughly translates to...When the Tiger does not roar...do you think it is a sick cat?...
A friend of mine asked...what do you think about all these movies?...
My answer...Those who believe would still believe and Those who do not believe would use any avenues to strengthen their disbelief - evolution, atheism, agnosticism or these movies...
If you scratch the surface of every attempt to prove or disprove anything...there lies the "pre-conceived" idea of belief or disbelief...Either you want to believe or you want to dis-believe...
Hence it is said: To the faithful - no prove is needed...To the faithless - no prove is valid... There will always be efforts to explain away any events...
Thus the debates go on...they never end...
...till the end comes...
...Maranatha...
Hairy Plaster - It is about a young boy named Hairy who happened to be the descendant of a very powerful wizard. He had to work his way up to be one too and joined the battle of "good" vs "evil". Erm...not surprisingly, the boy Hairy is supposedly the "good" one...
How bout the other one?
The Villain Code - It is a story about a renowned renaissance artist who "encoded" many secrets in his infamous painting...telling viewers that the Christian God in the form of flesh - had sex with one of his fans and bore descendant...A middle-aged Harvard professor of religious symbology (Erm...don't even know if that faculty exists) was compelled to investigate the matter but some group was trying to hide this "fact" - even up to the point of carrying out murder plots...and so...another battle of "good" vs "evil"....
And now...the latest movie...The Golden Compass...
I don't know much about this since it has not hit the streets yet. All I know - this is also another movie that the Catholic Church is against of...urging Christians not to "support" it by buying the tickets for themselves or their children.
I wonder why...Why are people looking for opportunities to "disgrace"..."discredit"..."dismantle"..."dis..." Christianity???
I want to know if these cowards could do the same thing to the religion that thrives through the sword...
There is a saying in Chinese that roughly translates to...When the Tiger does not roar...do you think it is a sick cat?...
A friend of mine asked...what do you think about all these movies?...
My answer...Those who believe would still believe and Those who do not believe would use any avenues to strengthen their disbelief - evolution, atheism, agnosticism or these movies...
If you scratch the surface of every attempt to prove or disprove anything...there lies the "pre-conceived" idea of belief or disbelief...Either you want to believe or you want to dis-believe...
Hence it is said: To the faithful - no prove is needed...To the faithless - no prove is valid... There will always be efforts to explain away any events...
Thus the debates go on...they never end...
...till the end comes...
...Maranatha...
Friday, November 23, 2007
The Purpose of Life IV - Is Enough...Good Enough?
What is Enough?
Why is it called Enough?
How to know it is Enough?
How much is Enough?
...
It is of no wonder that as a seeker, I must ask the inevitable questions above. Otherwise, it is tiring to keep on wanting for more. Just like drinking sea water - slowly dying of thirst...
I must admit, somehow I have never felt of having enough...I always want for more...
More money...
More friends...
More excitement...
More control...
More colors of life...
More ...
I also know enough to know that having more money is not enough, having more friends is not enough, having more excitement is not enough. Yet I also know that not having enough money is terrifying, not having enough friends is deadening and not having enough excitement is...guess what...boring...
(selah)
I like to let my mind wander...
At first I put myself as a rich and powerful man, having the authority that moves the wind and clouds...I feel cool, happy, satiated, afraid, tired...tormented...
Then I put myself as a pauper, being spat on, kicked at, looked down upon...I feel terrible, humiliated, afraid, tired...tormented...
Then I wake up...coming back to reality...that I am neither one of them...
It is definitely not fun to be rich and powerful, being surrounded by suckers who only want what I have and not who I really am. Day after day I must be wary of the people around me and guard my possessions with all vigilance because I am afraid to lose all the objects of my desires. Thus I feel scared, tired and tormented...
Neither it is pleasant to be poor and helpless, being unwanted and considered as the scum of the society (believe me, I know what I am talking about - I live in China where beggars are everywhere even in the trains). And thus I also fell scared, tired and tormented... This, I believe...needs no lengthy explanation...
Hence, I do not wish to be either one...since in the end...I still feel scared, tired and tormented...
Somehow I believe that somewhere between the two extremes is the "sweet spot" of life. Not too rich, not too poor, just enough...good enough...
Hey but, Good is the enemy of the Best...Average is the enemy of the Great...thus some people say... Question - How does one know what is best? How does one compare it with what is good? What is the standard? What is best for one may not be good enough to another. And what is considered best at a point in time may not be that good in retrospect. Hence, to me this statement sounds ridiculous, impractical and only serve as an "ear-candy"...
There is a saying in Chinese that translates roughly to "Family fortune may not last for more than three generations...". I have seen and learned that the first generation built it, the second generation squandered it and the third generation missed it (not to mention fourth...)
(selah)
Man: God?
God: Yes?
Man: Do You own the whole earth?
God: Uh-huh?
Man: If You really own the whole earth, why can't You give Your people what they want when they ask - just like my uncles and aunts to their children?
God: That is because I do not wish to destroy My people...
Man: ...
(selah)
I guess the point is not how much we can get...but it is how much we can manage without destroying ourselves...without finally being scared...tired...tormented...dead...
After all...one only cries out for more - when whatever one has...cannot achieve the desired objectives...So the question now is not about whether or not it is enough anymore, but are the objectives that one has - justifiable?
Sigh...
After all...maybe having enough...is good enough...
...give us today...our daily bread...
...so that there might be...
...more of You and less of me...
Why is it called Enough?
How to know it is Enough?
How much is Enough?
...
It is of no wonder that as a seeker, I must ask the inevitable questions above. Otherwise, it is tiring to keep on wanting for more. Just like drinking sea water - slowly dying of thirst...
I must admit, somehow I have never felt of having enough...I always want for more...
More money...
More friends...
More excitement...
More control...
More colors of life...
More ...
I also know enough to know that having more money is not enough, having more friends is not enough, having more excitement is not enough. Yet I also know that not having enough money is terrifying, not having enough friends is deadening and not having enough excitement is...guess what...boring...
(selah)
I like to let my mind wander...
At first I put myself as a rich and powerful man, having the authority that moves the wind and clouds...I feel cool, happy, satiated, afraid, tired...tormented...
Then I put myself as a pauper, being spat on, kicked at, looked down upon...I feel terrible, humiliated, afraid, tired...tormented...
Then I wake up...coming back to reality...that I am neither one of them...
It is definitely not fun to be rich and powerful, being surrounded by suckers who only want what I have and not who I really am. Day after day I must be wary of the people around me and guard my possessions with all vigilance because I am afraid to lose all the objects of my desires. Thus I feel scared, tired and tormented...
Neither it is pleasant to be poor and helpless, being unwanted and considered as the scum of the society (believe me, I know what I am talking about - I live in China where beggars are everywhere even in the trains). And thus I also fell scared, tired and tormented... This, I believe...needs no lengthy explanation...
Hence, I do not wish to be either one...since in the end...I still feel scared, tired and tormented...
Somehow I believe that somewhere between the two extremes is the "sweet spot" of life. Not too rich, not too poor, just enough...good enough...
Hey but, Good is the enemy of the Best...Average is the enemy of the Great...thus some people say... Question - How does one know what is best? How does one compare it with what is good? What is the standard? What is best for one may not be good enough to another. And what is considered best at a point in time may not be that good in retrospect. Hence, to me this statement sounds ridiculous, impractical and only serve as an "ear-candy"...
There is a saying in Chinese that translates roughly to "Family fortune may not last for more than three generations...". I have seen and learned that the first generation built it, the second generation squandered it and the third generation missed it (not to mention fourth...)
(selah)
Man: God?
God: Yes?
Man: Do You own the whole earth?
God: Uh-huh?
Man: If You really own the whole earth, why can't You give Your people what they want when they ask - just like my uncles and aunts to their children?
God: That is because I do not wish to destroy My people...
Man: ...
(selah)
I guess the point is not how much we can get...but it is how much we can manage without destroying ourselves...without finally being scared...tired...tormented...dead...
After all...one only cries out for more - when whatever one has...cannot achieve the desired objectives...So the question now is not about whether or not it is enough anymore, but are the objectives that one has - justifiable?
Sigh...
After all...maybe having enough...is good enough...
...give us today...our daily bread...
...so that there might be...
...more of You and less of me...
Friday, November 16, 2007
Focus II - Faith of a two year old
It was one typical afternoon in Sydney while I was riding a bus - I spotted this "poem" hanging on the ceiling.
A two year old faith
During a dark cloudy day I asked my two year old son...
What's the color of the sky?
He looked up and said...blue...
I said, "Look again..."
He looked for a while and said...blue...
Some cynical comments began to surface in my mind. Maybe the son was stupid, maybe his "color vocabulary" was limited to red - green - blue, maybe his dad never taught him well, maybe he was wearing blue colored sunglasses, maybe...
But something else came into my mind...
The clouds aren't the real color of the sky...The sky is always blue, no matter what...
This begs the question of focus...Are we focusing on what is before...or what is beyond...?
There are veils in life that can easily obscure our sights. Dreams, Imaginations, Successes, Failures, Education, Beliefs... Not to mention about the "information overload" problem that we currently have in this age of technology. We are getting more and more confused about what or where to focus on and our emotions are manipulated like a reed swayed by the wind - easily excited or threatened by the events presented before us.
Ah...is life really that complicated? Or am I complicating things?
Shouldn't I be like the two year old boy? Or maybe the older I am...the further away I drift from wisdom?
I guess I have to remind myself over and over again...
The sky is always blue...
...unless the night comes...
Sigh...
Show me Your way...that I may walk with You..
A two year old faith
During a dark cloudy day I asked my two year old son...
What's the color of the sky?
He looked up and said...blue...
I said, "Look again..."
He looked for a while and said...blue...
Some cynical comments began to surface in my mind. Maybe the son was stupid, maybe his "color vocabulary" was limited to red - green - blue, maybe his dad never taught him well, maybe he was wearing blue colored sunglasses, maybe...
But something else came into my mind...
The clouds aren't the real color of the sky...The sky is always blue, no matter what...
This begs the question of focus...Are we focusing on what is before...or what is beyond...?
There are veils in life that can easily obscure our sights. Dreams, Imaginations, Successes, Failures, Education, Beliefs... Not to mention about the "information overload" problem that we currently have in this age of technology. We are getting more and more confused about what or where to focus on and our emotions are manipulated like a reed swayed by the wind - easily excited or threatened by the events presented before us.
Ah...is life really that complicated? Or am I complicating things?
Shouldn't I be like the two year old boy? Or maybe the older I am...the further away I drift from wisdom?
I guess I have to remind myself over and over again...
The sky is always blue...
...unless the night comes...
Sigh...
Show me Your way...that I may walk with You..
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Focus
Someone said Focus not on the problem but on the solution...
The intent is so that one should not be overwhelmed by the problem and miss the solution, because it is believed that a solution lies within every perceived problem...
...is that a truism?...
One thought...if it's true that when we focus on the problem, we may not find the solution, then what if we really focus on the solution? We might not even solve the right problem...
Another thought...what if the "problem" is never meant to be solved? What if the "problem" itself is the solution? Would it be a waste of time trying to solve it instead of just living with it and focus the energy on something else?
Consider the making of a Pearl. Ask the oyster and he would tell you that the sand was irritating him...but he would not realize that the irritant was central to the process of producing exquisite gems adoring the necks of beautiful maidens...
Hence...Focus on neither the problem, nor the solution...
I posted this on my skype quote and sometime later, my boss commented:...then focus on what??
I laughed and I said I quoted this statement from a wise buddhist monk. He replied, "...no wonder - the statement is very vague and open to interpretation..."
I laughed again and admitted that I was the one who came up with it like flashes of light in my mind...
We humans are designed in a way that makes us hard to see the real big picture. The way our brain works is to focus on something before understanding anything. Don't believe me? Look around you...Look at the fights that happen...Most probably they are due to the inability to see the bigger picture and opposing parties are focusing on seemingly contradicting needs...
Since everyone needs a focus in life - hence my boss' question begs for an answer...
And so my answer is...Focus on the Purpose of the Problem... (but I didn't tell him - I let him ponder about it himself)
And I let you - whoever you are...to find the purpose of your problem...
Oh Master grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr
The intent is so that one should not be overwhelmed by the problem and miss the solution, because it is believed that a solution lies within every perceived problem...
...is that a truism?...
One thought...if it's true that when we focus on the problem, we may not find the solution, then what if we really focus on the solution? We might not even solve the right problem...
Another thought...what if the "problem" is never meant to be solved? What if the "problem" itself is the solution? Would it be a waste of time trying to solve it instead of just living with it and focus the energy on something else?
Consider the making of a Pearl. Ask the oyster and he would tell you that the sand was irritating him...but he would not realize that the irritant was central to the process of producing exquisite gems adoring the necks of beautiful maidens...
Hence...Focus on neither the problem, nor the solution...
I posted this on my skype quote and sometime later, my boss commented:...then focus on what??
I laughed and I said I quoted this statement from a wise buddhist monk. He replied, "...no wonder - the statement is very vague and open to interpretation..."
I laughed again and admitted that I was the one who came up with it like flashes of light in my mind...
We humans are designed in a way that makes us hard to see the real big picture. The way our brain works is to focus on something before understanding anything. Don't believe me? Look around you...Look at the fights that happen...Most probably they are due to the inability to see the bigger picture and opposing parties are focusing on seemingly contradicting needs...
Since everyone needs a focus in life - hence my boss' question begs for an answer...
And so my answer is...Focus on the Purpose of the Problem... (but I didn't tell him - I let him ponder about it himself)
And I let you - whoever you are...to find the purpose of your problem...
Oh Master grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr
Friday, November 2, 2007
SO WHAT?!!!
I spent tens of thousands of dollars for my MBA and these words are some of the few things that still remain in my brain...
It's the ultimate statement...or rather...question- a test to all the analysis that we have painstakingly done - because there is no point in doing the wrong thing right...
And hence, I have decided to elevate the importance of these words and mesh them into my life principles...
Oh how I love these two words... I love shouting them because...
It's my challenge to all my problems...
It's my challenge to all my sadness...
It's my challenge to all my enemies...
and also my challenge to all the people I care...
Someone asked me these two related questions:
What is the highest point of one's life?
After what period one ceases to pursue the high point of life?
Not surprisingly - he's also a seeker...
Certain cultures regard achievements in different ways. Different societies infuse different ambitions and ideals to their individuals. An achievement to one could be regarded as a derision to another.
Then...what is considered as the "highest point"?
In life, one should find that after reaching the top of a mountain - there would be many higher peaks that previously were not sighted, because the view from below was very limited by the clouds above...
It's a never ending pursuit... Therefore one must ask himself before scaling:
So what if I reach this "highest point"? Because I am going to find another "higher point"...
So what if I reach this "highest point"? It is lonely at the top...
So what if I reach this "highest point"? And sacrifice the people I love...
SO WHAT?!!!
And so after asking all these questions and determine that the pain is worth it...then one can go on...
Cause nobody wants to be at the 'top' and feeling miserable...
I know this is not going to satisfy him as a seeker - this does not satisfy me either even as I'm typing these words...
Seekers want real not abstract answers...
Seekers want tangible goals not illusive ones...
Seekers are destination oriented and care less about the journey...
But for now...it's the best thing I've got...to keep me going...
so what if I'm an average person...
so what if I never reach my ultimate potentials...
so what if my journey is faltering...
so what if my dreams are never fulfilled...
so what if I must live with this emptiness...
...as long as I've got You...
Friday, October 26, 2007
The Power of Love II - a tale of two sisters
And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her
בראשית 29:20
Once upon a time there was a sojourner or rather...a fugitive called Jacob. He had lived in a wealthy but dysfunctional family. He was wanted for his crime against his twin brother - accused for stealing his twin's birthright through some scheming ways administered by his mom - for his twin was born first. Back then, being the eldest son in a rich family had a super privilege that others could only envy...
Once upon a time there were two sisters - Leah and Rachel - born of distant relative of Jacob. And one is more beautiful than another...
And so, one day their paths of life crossed and the love story began...
The younger one - Rachel - had sparkling magical eyes that enlightened the depths of Jacob's soul. Rachel's eyes enchanted him, her smile intoxicated him, her voice caressed his ears and her dances filled his dreams...
And even though seven years of labor were required to win the love of his heart - he passed them like a few days. Whenever he was tired on the field, all he needed was to close his eyes and see her - and suddenly he would find the strength to go on...
See - How great the power of love is... How inexplicable...How indescribable...How unsearchable...and How unstoppable...
At last, the banquet was held after seven full years. Jacob was rapturously delightful - looking forward to the most anticipated time of his life - the wedding night. Nevertheless, when the morning came - he was up to find the most unexpected event of his life. The woman laid with him the night before was Leah...the unattractive one...*
The cheater was cheated...by the father in law. He was told that it was not appropriate to marry the younger one first - hence the swap. And to marry the younger one - he must work for another seven years...
Once again - love empowered Jacob to endure another seven years for the hand of Rachel...
But...what about Leah?
She was considered a mistake...a reject by her husband in name. She was there only to satisfy his hormonal rush. She was hurt, broken, lonely and forgotten...
Wait!...Forgotten? Not quite... The Master of destiny had not forgotten about her.
And when the Master saw that Leah was despised, He made her able to bear children, but Rachel was barren
בראשית 29:31
Oh...oh...look at that. The Master of destiny was tipping the balance of 'fairness'. One was unloved, another was loved. Being barren was considered as accursed. So He was 'blessing' the unloved one and 'cursing' the loved one.**
And so the race of winning Jacob's heart began. Leah kept on having children, Rachel did not. And if you look at the names of Leah's sons, you would see the obvious intent that both women were indeed in a race.
Reuben - See, a son. For the Master has seen my humiliation and affliction
Simeon - The Master hears. For the Master has heard that I am despised
Levi - Companion. Now my husband will accompany me even more
Judah - Praise. Now will I praise the Master
...
And the plot thickens. Rachel was angry and gave Jacob her maid servant so that she could bore children in Rachel's name and Leah did so too once she too stopped having children.
Imagine the pain Leah had gone through - knowing that the face in her man's mind was not her while he was on top of her, looking out through the window and saw him caressing her sister on the field, drifting through the lonely nights while he was with her sister, anxiously hoping that he would not change his mind on where to spend the night when her turn came, trying her best to serve him without getting the expected appreciation...all because she was the unwanted one...all because his heart was still toward Rachel.
Reuben - See, a son. For the Master has seen my humiliation and affliction
Simeon - The Master hears. For the Master has heard that I am despised
Levi - Companion. Now my husband will accompany me even more
Judah - Praise. Now will I praise the Master
...
And the plot thickens. Rachel was angry and gave Jacob her maid servant so that she could bore children in Rachel's name and Leah did so too once she too stopped having children.
Imagine the pain Leah had gone through - knowing that the face in her man's mind was not her while he was on top of her, looking out through the window and saw him caressing her sister on the field, drifting through the lonely nights while he was with her sister, anxiously hoping that he would not change his mind on where to spend the night when her turn came, trying her best to serve him without getting the expected appreciation...all because she was the unwanted one...all because his heart was still toward Rachel.
Time passed by...
So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath...
בראשית 35:29
בראשית 49:29-31
And if you could ask Leah...was it worth it? I bet she would get out of the grave and scream "YES" on top of her lungs...
The same power that made Jacob endured 14 years of labor - had empowered Leah to endure even many times longer of emotional anguish.
I can't help but repeating these words again:
How great the power of love is... How inexplicable...How indescribable...How unsearchable...and How unstoppable...
...but love never ends...
...so let us create our own story...while we are not ended...
love never fails...
* Please understand that electricity was invented many many years later after the time of the story. Also maybe spending the wedding night in the dark was more romantic according to the custom at that time. Either way, the author never recommends sleeping with anyone in complete darkness - you never know whom you sleep with
** Later on He tipped the balance again by enabling Rachel to conceive
Thursday, October 18, 2007
The Race
The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to men of understanding, nor favour to men of skill; but time and chance happen to them all.
- Jedidiah (est 1000BC - 928BC)
Veni Vidi Vici
- Julius Caesar (est 100BC - 44BC)
So it's comforting to hide behind the first words...
Or are those words true?
I've read an article about teaching "MBA" to 5 yr old kids (to think that I've got my MBA many many years after that). I know someone who is starting a venture to teach financial literacy to 9-18 yr olds. One of my country stops' employment market value certification so much that even 40 yr olds are still taking Masters degree, CFA, CPA, C**...
In sports world, athletes have sacrificed most of their lives to train and train and train. Basketball players shoot and dribble and shoot and dribble. Weightlifters...guess what...lift weights everyday without caring for their heights cause they want to reach another kind of heights. And for the less glorious scenarios, the need to win drove some of them to resort to unscrupulous ways and crowns were taken away from the disgraced ones.
All these...for what???
The second statement - I came...I saw...I conquered...
Ahhh...the smell of victory is so overwhelming that the thought of losing is so terrifying...
And so...many are pushing their limits to be victors of the race...
Makes me wonder... What is this race about?
By definition a race means an event where a group of people pit themselves against each other to be the best among them. It can be about who will be the fastest, the strongest, the wisest and so on. This event happens in so many facets of life and the final prize is - glory. I think it would be appropriate if I call the biggest race of all is - living a meaningful life.
And so - I wait...for my time and my chance...
- pay attention on Your servant oh Master. Do not tarry...do not delay...
- Jedidiah (est 1000BC - 928BC)
Veni Vidi Vici
- Julius Caesar (est 100BC - 44BC)
Sigh...
I'm not swift, I'm not strong, I'm not wise, I'm not skillful and my understanding may not exceed kindergarten level...So it's comforting to hide behind the first words...
Or are those words true?
I've read an article about teaching "MBA" to 5 yr old kids (to think that I've got my MBA many many years after that). I know someone who is starting a venture to teach financial literacy to 9-18 yr olds. One of my country stops' employment market value certification so much that even 40 yr olds are still taking Masters degree, CFA, CPA, C**...
In sports world, athletes have sacrificed most of their lives to train and train and train. Basketball players shoot and dribble and shoot and dribble. Weightlifters...guess what...lift weights everyday without caring for their heights cause they want to reach another kind of heights. And for the less glorious scenarios, the need to win drove some of them to resort to unscrupulous ways and crowns were taken away from the disgraced ones.
All these...for what???
The second statement - I came...I saw...I conquered...
Ahhh...the smell of victory is so overwhelming that the thought of losing is so terrifying...
And so...many are pushing their limits to be victors of the race...
Makes me wonder... What is this race about?
By definition a race means an event where a group of people pit themselves against each other to be the best among them. It can be about who will be the fastest, the strongest, the wisest and so on. This event happens in so many facets of life and the final prize is - glory. I think it would be appropriate if I call the biggest race of all is - living a meaningful life.
And so - I wait...for my time and my chance...
- pay attention on Your servant oh Master. Do not tarry...do not delay...
Friday, October 12, 2007
The Purpose of Life III - My Left Foot
Just watched a DVD - My Left Foot...
An old movie starring Daniel Day Lewis playing Christy Brown. An Irish writer, artist; respected by many for his accomplishments...only by using his left foot...
He was born in 1932 with cerebral palsy - a condition that disabled most of his motoric neurons which affected his hands, his right foot, his arms...his speech...only his left foot is left... Doctors thought he wouldn't make it far and yet, years gone by and his life and his Mom's dedication in raising him were presented in an Academy Award winning movie.
Which made me think again...about the purpose of life...
Destiny...Hard work... ... ... Grace...
Someone asked me to blog about "How far does Destiny influence our lives? What about hard work? What about ... Grace?"
For someone who has read a lot (and still needs a lot more reading) about views on life, I believe in Fate. Someone said life is about 10% Fate, 90% Choice. I say life is Fated FIRST and Chosen LATER...period. Who are we to assign portions or importance between the two?
An old man said...Life is like a poker game. Well in real poker games, sometimes you could try to "engineer" the outcome by rigging it, but how could you rig the game of life? You are "fated" when the cards are assigned by the Dealer and then the Dealer watches how you play the cards and that's choice.
No big deal huh?...Not unless you're a Christy Brown.
He was fated with Cerebral Palsy and he chose to be a writer and artist.
He was fated to be imprisoned by himself for the rest of his life and he chose to free himself through his writings and paintings.
My mentee has a problem. She doesn't know what to choose between career and school life. Her parents were divorced and she lives with her mom. She knows the importance of being independent and making money, yet she couldn't leave the comfort of a 'care-free' school life. In this case I told her that she has to know what she wants to do in the future. There is an opportunity cost for every moment passed and don't just live and let the currents of life drift you.
Then the most feared question came... So dear mentor, what is the purpose of your life?
Shoot!!! Who am I to teach others about how to live their lives while I myself am still looking for the answers?
I'm asking her to live with a clear purpose in mind and yet I myself don't have a clue what I'm really supposed to do. I'm asking her not to drift and yet I myself am drifting aimlessly on this ocean of life. I know I'm going somewhere...but where?
I felt dirty...
But I tried to be as honest as possible to her. I told her that there are many things in life we can't control and what we could do for a start is trying to ensure that we're independent. For me, I will do my best to fulfill my basic needs and prepare myself to support my family.
And the next most feared question... So dear mentor, IS THAT ALL???!!! I thought someone at your level should aim for more...
Shoot!!!Shoot!!! That was also my question (if you read my previous entry). But I couldn't explain all these to her. Just like a parent who's protecting his child from the realities of life, I couldn't reveal too much about all these things to her. But maybe it was just my ego that prevented me to show to her how weak I am...
I told her that there are many levels of 'basic needs'. We all need clothes but of course there are different qualities of clothes. We all need a roof to live under but of course there are different qualities of roof.
And the questions stopped...either she was kind enough not to push me or she was satisfied... I don't know...
There was a dialogue in the movie that touched me: (btw, I'm not good with my memory, so this dialogue is not an exact copy from the movie)
Christy's Mom: I can't take all these money, it's more than what your father made in a year
Christy: It's alright mom, I got it through my writings, take it
Mom: But what am I going to do with it?
C: Well, for a start you could buy yourself new clothes, new shoes...
M: (cried)
Is that all? Is life about buying new clothes and shoes? For a lady of her calibre, new clothes and new shoes didn't matter to her at all. I guess she cried because she never expected her crippled son to accomplish so much.
Coming back to the three words above, here's the 'mapping' of Christy's life:
Destiny : Cerebral Palsy
Hard work : Novels, Paintings
Grace : ... Mom
How much of Destiny? How much of Hard work? How much of Grace? That determined the outcome of his life?
It's a stupid question... because it was never about how much of which. It was about how the three were joined together and braided a life story of his own.
And so are our life stories...braided by these three as the three legs support the stool...
Sigh... am I wasting my time writing this blog? My knowledge is still not improved... I am still drifting...
Maybe the Master Dealer purposely obscures my purpose of life...so that I make "seeking" as my purpose of life
And so I keep on seeking...
An old movie starring Daniel Day Lewis playing Christy Brown. An Irish writer, artist; respected by many for his accomplishments...only by using his left foot...
He was born in 1932 with cerebral palsy - a condition that disabled most of his motoric neurons which affected his hands, his right foot, his arms...his speech...only his left foot is left... Doctors thought he wouldn't make it far and yet, years gone by and his life and his Mom's dedication in raising him were presented in an Academy Award winning movie.
Which made me think again...about the purpose of life...
Destiny...Hard work... ... ... Grace...
Someone asked me to blog about "How far does Destiny influence our lives? What about hard work? What about ... Grace?"
For someone who has read a lot (and still needs a lot more reading) about views on life, I believe in Fate. Someone said life is about 10% Fate, 90% Choice. I say life is Fated FIRST and Chosen LATER...period. Who are we to assign portions or importance between the two?
An old man said...Life is like a poker game. Well in real poker games, sometimes you could try to "engineer" the outcome by rigging it, but how could you rig the game of life? You are "fated" when the cards are assigned by the Dealer and then the Dealer watches how you play the cards and that's choice.
No big deal huh?...Not unless you're a Christy Brown.
He was fated with Cerebral Palsy and he chose to be a writer and artist.
He was fated to be imprisoned by himself for the rest of his life and he chose to free himself through his writings and paintings.
My mentee has a problem. She doesn't know what to choose between career and school life. Her parents were divorced and she lives with her mom. She knows the importance of being independent and making money, yet she couldn't leave the comfort of a 'care-free' school life. In this case I told her that she has to know what she wants to do in the future. There is an opportunity cost for every moment passed and don't just live and let the currents of life drift you.
Then the most feared question came... So dear mentor, what is the purpose of your life?
Shoot!!! Who am I to teach others about how to live their lives while I myself am still looking for the answers?
I'm asking her to live with a clear purpose in mind and yet I myself don't have a clue what I'm really supposed to do. I'm asking her not to drift and yet I myself am drifting aimlessly on this ocean of life. I know I'm going somewhere...but where?
I felt dirty...
But I tried to be as honest as possible to her. I told her that there are many things in life we can't control and what we could do for a start is trying to ensure that we're independent. For me, I will do my best to fulfill my basic needs and prepare myself to support my family.
And the next most feared question... So dear mentor, IS THAT ALL???!!! I thought someone at your level should aim for more...
Shoot!!!Shoot!!! That was also my question (if you read my previous entry). But I couldn't explain all these to her. Just like a parent who's protecting his child from the realities of life, I couldn't reveal too much about all these things to her. But maybe it was just my ego that prevented me to show to her how weak I am...
I told her that there are many levels of 'basic needs'. We all need clothes but of course there are different qualities of clothes. We all need a roof to live under but of course there are different qualities of roof.
And the questions stopped...either she was kind enough not to push me or she was satisfied... I don't know...
There was a dialogue in the movie that touched me: (btw, I'm not good with my memory, so this dialogue is not an exact copy from the movie)
Christy's Mom: I can't take all these money, it's more than what your father made in a year
Christy: It's alright mom, I got it through my writings, take it
Mom: But what am I going to do with it?
C: Well, for a start you could buy yourself new clothes, new shoes...
M: (cried)
Is that all? Is life about buying new clothes and shoes? For a lady of her calibre, new clothes and new shoes didn't matter to her at all. I guess she cried because she never expected her crippled son to accomplish so much.
Coming back to the three words above, here's the 'mapping' of Christy's life:
Destiny : Cerebral Palsy
Hard work : Novels, Paintings
Grace : ... Mom
How much of Destiny? How much of Hard work? How much of Grace? That determined the outcome of his life?
It's a stupid question... because it was never about how much of which. It was about how the three were joined together and braided a life story of his own.
And so are our life stories...braided by these three as the three legs support the stool...
Sigh... am I wasting my time writing this blog? My knowledge is still not improved... I am still drifting...
Maybe the Master Dealer purposely obscures my purpose of life...so that I make "seeking" as my purpose of life
And so I keep on seeking...
Monday, October 1, 2007
Dreams
Someone asked me to write about this. Ah...I really don't know what to say...
Everybody dreams. Some succeed, some fail. Some are satisfied, some are disappointed...
I belong to the second group...
Whatever I've wanted, whatever I've dreamt - they never materialize. The job that I have is not what I want. The life that I have is less than ideal. The look, the money, the...etc... sigh, the list never ends...
Contentment? That is a strange word to me. I've always wanted for more. "What's next?" is my regular question. "Is that all?" is my repeated cries.
I wonder what is wrong with me? There are too many unanswered whys in my mind. The more I ponder about them, the crazier I become.
Many people preach about expectation. Expect big things and pursue them, don't limit yourself, whenever there is a will, there is a way and blah and blah and blah, blah, blah...
I for one, don't really believe in those slogans. I've been disappointed enough to dream, to expect, to hope...
But wait...there has to be something more behind this business of dreaming...
Someone told me that a dream must fall onto the ground and die. Just like a seed, it has to die before it springs forth. It has to perish before it flourishes. A seed by itself means nothing and so does a dream. And once it matures, it'll yield fruits - more valuable than being just a seed.
By the way if we think about it, the seed is not the same anymore after it becomes the fruit yielding plant. And the whole process would take different time for every seed. And in the eyes of a botanist, this process is nothing short of being magical...
From seed to plant. From a dream to... something that is much more useful. The Master Craftsman is also The Master of Dreams, He knows what to make out of a simple seed. Hence we must not hold on to the seeds, we must release them into the ground of life and watch them die. Painful as it may, yet when we see the small sprouts breakforth - the joy would only be equal to a mother's sigh of relief after delivering and our pain is vindicated...
Sigh, so I could only wait with a broken heart...waiting for the day of deliverance and fulfillment to come...
Where are You?
Everybody dreams. Some succeed, some fail. Some are satisfied, some are disappointed...
I belong to the second group...
Whatever I've wanted, whatever I've dreamt - they never materialize. The job that I have is not what I want. The life that I have is less than ideal. The look, the money, the...etc... sigh, the list never ends...
Contentment? That is a strange word to me. I've always wanted for more. "What's next?" is my regular question. "Is that all?" is my repeated cries.
I wonder what is wrong with me? There are too many unanswered whys in my mind. The more I ponder about them, the crazier I become.
Many people preach about expectation. Expect big things and pursue them, don't limit yourself, whenever there is a will, there is a way and blah and blah and blah, blah, blah...
I for one, don't really believe in those slogans. I've been disappointed enough to dream, to expect, to hope...
But wait...there has to be something more behind this business of dreaming...
Someone told me that a dream must fall onto the ground and die. Just like a seed, it has to die before it springs forth. It has to perish before it flourishes. A seed by itself means nothing and so does a dream. And once it matures, it'll yield fruits - more valuable than being just a seed.
By the way if we think about it, the seed is not the same anymore after it becomes the fruit yielding plant. And the whole process would take different time for every seed. And in the eyes of a botanist, this process is nothing short of being magical...
From seed to plant. From a dream to... something that is much more useful. The Master Craftsman is also The Master of Dreams, He knows what to make out of a simple seed. Hence we must not hold on to the seeds, we must release them into the ground of life and watch them die. Painful as it may, yet when we see the small sprouts breakforth - the joy would only be equal to a mother's sigh of relief after delivering and our pain is vindicated...
Sigh, so I could only wait with a broken heart...waiting for the day of deliverance and fulfillment to come...
Where are You?
Sunday, September 30, 2007
The Quest for Character - A Gold Is A Gold
Someone reminded me this some time ago and I felt a small tug in my heart to post it here...
(maybe you would think that the writer of this blog is out of his mind)
A gold is a gold? Yeah right, so?
But the value of that statement increases immensely when we add this word: "wherever"
Wherever a gold is, it is still a gold.
In a beautiful jewelry box...
In a rubbish bin...
In the shape of a ring...
In its original..unsightly form...
or in an earthen vessel...
it's still a gold...and it is wanted (especially now when US dollar is disappointing)*.
All of us want to be wanted. All of us need to be needed. In extreme cases, there is a syndrome called ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) in some children (or maybe adults too?) where they always create problems in order to be the center of attention.
But there is a much better way in order to be wanted...needed, go and shine like gold.
Sometimes we change ourselves for the better because circumstances force us or incentives pull us.
But if we are "gold", we do not wait for circumstances or incentives. We change because we want to shine - because that is who we are and that is what we do.
My mentee asked me, what is the benefit of self betterment if nobody notices that or nobody rewards us for that?
I said if that is the case, then consider yourself as a gold in a rubbish bin. Your value is not determined by where you are but by who you really are. The gold is still a gold - shining in the rubbish bin as bright as in a jewel casket. So keep on shining, brighter and brighter, no matter where you are. Surely other people will find your value and you will be taken away and glorified.
And in the end, if really nobody cares, the Guy upstairs does.
Keep on shining...be wanted...be valuable...
* This statement is not supposed to be considered as investment advice. The author is not responsible for the loss generated from gold investment undertaken based on this statement. Nevertheless, the author requires a sizable share of gain should the investment based on this statement prove to be profitable.
(maybe you would think that the writer of this blog is out of his mind)
A gold is a gold? Yeah right, so?
But the value of that statement increases immensely when we add this word: "wherever"
Wherever a gold is, it is still a gold.
In a beautiful jewelry box...
In a rubbish bin...
In the shape of a ring...
In its original..unsightly form...
or in an earthen vessel...
it's still a gold...and it is wanted (especially now when US dollar is disappointing)*.
All of us want to be wanted. All of us need to be needed. In extreme cases, there is a syndrome called ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) in some children (or maybe adults too?) where they always create problems in order to be the center of attention.
But there is a much better way in order to be wanted...needed, go and shine like gold.
Sometimes we change ourselves for the better because circumstances force us or incentives pull us.
But if we are "gold", we do not wait for circumstances or incentives. We change because we want to shine - because that is who we are and that is what we do.
My mentee asked me, what is the benefit of self betterment if nobody notices that or nobody rewards us for that?
I said if that is the case, then consider yourself as a gold in a rubbish bin. Your value is not determined by where you are but by who you really are. The gold is still a gold - shining in the rubbish bin as bright as in a jewel casket. So keep on shining, brighter and brighter, no matter where you are. Surely other people will find your value and you will be taken away and glorified.
And in the end, if really nobody cares, the Guy upstairs does.
Keep on shining...be wanted...be valuable...
* This statement is not supposed to be considered as investment advice. The author is not responsible for the loss generated from gold investment undertaken based on this statement. Nevertheless, the author requires a sizable share of gain should the investment based on this statement prove to be profitable.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
The Quest for Wisdom II
Listen to this 'suppossedly wise' words:
Never walk away from Wisdom - she guards your life...
Love her - she keeps her eye on you.
Above all and before all, do this: Get Wisdom!
Write this at the top of your list: Get Understanding!
Throw your arms around her believe me, you won't regret it.
Never let her go - she'll make your life glorious.
She'll garland your life with grace, she'll festoon your days with beauty.
Wisdom and Choices...
Choices - are Life's building blocks. The kind of Life you build depends on the kind of Choices you make.
Wisdom leads the Choices we make and ultimately lands us to the kind of Life that is in accordance to the Wisdom we have. Wisdom is the accumulation of knowledge, intelligence, understanding and the character that have been developed over time.
That's it!... Character...
You can be knowledgable. You can be Intelligent. You can be enlightened a thousand times.
But if you do not have the right Character to support them, you would still be making the wrong Choices.
You may know what needs to be done, yet you may have no courage to do it.
Somebody is called "Wise" because he has made a considerable amount of "Wise Choices" not just knowing them
And hence - The Quest for Wisdom becomes The Quest for Character
The fear of the Creator is the beginning of Wisdom
Never walk away from Wisdom - she guards your life...
Love her - she keeps her eye on you.
Above all and before all, do this: Get Wisdom!
Write this at the top of your list: Get Understanding!
Throw your arms around her believe me, you won't regret it.
Never let her go - she'll make your life glorious.
She'll garland your life with grace, she'll festoon your days with beauty.
Wisdom and Choices...
Choices - are Life's building blocks. The kind of Life you build depends on the kind of Choices you make.
Wisdom leads the Choices we make and ultimately lands us to the kind of Life that is in accordance to the Wisdom we have. Wisdom is the accumulation of knowledge, intelligence, understanding and the character that have been developed over time.
That's it!... Character...
You can be knowledgable. You can be Intelligent. You can be enlightened a thousand times.
But if you do not have the right Character to support them, you would still be making the wrong Choices.
You may know what needs to be done, yet you may have no courage to do it.
Somebody is called "Wise" because he has made a considerable amount of "Wise Choices" not just knowing them
And hence - The Quest for Wisdom becomes The Quest for Character
The fear of the Creator is the beginning of Wisdom
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The Quest for Wisdom
Wisdom...
Understanding...
Intelligence...
Knowledge...
What the heck are the differences between them all??? (if any)
It is said - Knowledge is power.. Then what about Intelligence? What about Understanding?
What about WISDOM?
Ok, just for the fun of it-let's make things slightly more complicated. There is data, there is information and then there is knowledge. Those who are involved in the study of data and information would know the differences.
Then there is the notion of:
You know what you know
You know what you don't know
You don't know what you know
You don't know what you don't know
But what about the first four...?
My puny mind tries to understand it this way:
data - information - knowledge - intelligence - understanding - wisdom (in increasing order)
Data - facts, unprocessed or unpackaged for a specific purpose
Information - Processed Data for a specific purpose
Knowledge - Processed Information combined with experiences for a specific purpose
Intelligence - Ability to apply Knowledge in specific circumstances to achieve certain purposes
... (things are getting more complicated from this point onwards)
Understanding - Ability to get enlightenment (took me a while to find this word) over certain matters derived from the Data, Information, Knowledge and Intelligence involved.
Wisdom - (speechless)
Solomon personifies wisdom as the first of all creations even before the earth existed. She was there beside the Creator and involved in the creation. He even urges others to get wisdom and understanding at all cost...
So what is wisdom?
I am still seeking...
Understanding...
Intelligence...
Knowledge...
What the heck are the differences between them all??? (if any)
It is said - Knowledge is power.. Then what about Intelligence? What about Understanding?
What about WISDOM?
Ok, just for the fun of it-let's make things slightly more complicated. There is data, there is information and then there is knowledge. Those who are involved in the study of data and information would know the differences.
Then there is the notion of:
You know what you know
You know what you don't know
You don't know what you know
You don't know what you don't know
But what about the first four...?
My puny mind tries to understand it this way:
data - information - knowledge - intelligence - understanding - wisdom (in increasing order)
Data - facts, unprocessed or unpackaged for a specific purpose
Information - Processed Data for a specific purpose
Knowledge - Processed Information combined with experiences for a specific purpose
Intelligence - Ability to apply Knowledge in specific circumstances to achieve certain purposes
... (things are getting more complicated from this point onwards)
Understanding - Ability to get enlightenment (took me a while to find this word) over certain matters derived from the Data, Information, Knowledge and Intelligence involved.
Wisdom - (speechless)
Solomon personifies wisdom as the first of all creations even before the earth existed. She was there beside the Creator and involved in the creation. He even urges others to get wisdom and understanding at all cost...
So what is wisdom?
I am still seeking...
Friday, September 21, 2007
The Purpose of Life II - Roadmaps of Life
Wouldn't it be easier if we were just given roadmaps of our lives?
For most of us, life is pretty clear from the age of 5 till 18.
Then things start to get more complicated. Which university?What major?
After graduation...which company?What job? (and to some the order is different)
After job...who to marry?(gee...one of the most confusing mysteries of life)
and so on...
Ever wonder that?
Go and ask the Guy Upstairs and most probably you won't get a definite answer...
Go and ask the people you know and most probably you won't get a satisfying answer...
Go and ask...some psychic hot line or horoscopes...and most probably you would get some obscure if not horrible answer...
So what to do?
...sigh...who are we to solve the riddles of life?...
And in the end...maybe the real answer
lies on every single step we take
is whispered to our ears through every single beat of our hearts
is carved on every smile of the people we meet
and
is silently hammered upon us ... whenever we cry for it ...
I trust You to make me trust You...
For most of us, life is pretty clear from the age of 5 till 18.
Then things start to get more complicated. Which university?What major?
After graduation...which company?What job? (and to some the order is different)
After job...who to marry?(gee...one of the most confusing mysteries of life)
and so on...
Ever wonder that?
Go and ask the Guy Upstairs and most probably you won't get a definite answer...
Go and ask the people you know and most probably you won't get a satisfying answer...
Go and ask...some psychic hot line or horoscopes...and most probably you would get some obscure if not horrible answer...
So what to do?
...sigh...who are we to solve the riddles of life?...
And in the end...maybe the real answer
lies on every single step we take
is whispered to our ears through every single beat of our hearts
is carved on every smile of the people we meet
and
is silently hammered upon us ... whenever we cry for it ...
I trust You to make me trust You...
Sunday, September 9, 2007
The Power of Love - For The First Time in Eternity...
God: Do you know that for the first time in eternity, I was separated from my Son?
Man: ...? (silence)
And the mental picture comes up...
As the dearly beloved of the family I can never imagine that I'm ignored by my family. I was the spoiled one (still am - though in a different way). I can never imagine that I would show up in my hometown's airport and nobody is there waiting to pick me up.
I can never imagine that by the time I arrive at home...my parents would not say hello to me.
I can never imagine that I call them and they wouldn't answer (actually sometimes it's the other way around...)
If all those things happened... I must be wondering why... and worse... hurt...
Now consider the relationship between Father and Son. Try to understand Their relationship with our puny mind. Millions and Billions of years of sweet relationship - broken on that day.
It wasn't the abandonment of His trusted people
It wasn't the beating
It wasn't the accusations
It wasn't the scourging...the spitting
It wasn't the thorny crown
It wasn't the rejection of the people who hailed Him Lord a few days ago
It wasn't the "Via Dolorosa"
... that hurt Him most...
It was the rejection of His most trusted Person...
The Person Whom He put all His hope into... The Person about Whom He told His disciples...you guys will all leave Me but He would never leave Me...
And for the first time in eternity, He had to cry out...why?why have You forsaken Me?
Still the pain was so great till eventhough He knew the reason, He asked anyway...
And it was this cry that guarrantee us never to cry out the same words again...
...I wonder why it was an angel who gave Him strength???
Man: ...? (silence)
And the mental picture comes up...
As the dearly beloved of the family I can never imagine that I'm ignored by my family. I was the spoiled one (still am - though in a different way). I can never imagine that I would show up in my hometown's airport and nobody is there waiting to pick me up.
I can never imagine that by the time I arrive at home...my parents would not say hello to me.
I can never imagine that I call them and they wouldn't answer (actually sometimes it's the other way around...)
If all those things happened... I must be wondering why... and worse... hurt...
Now consider the relationship between Father and Son. Try to understand Their relationship with our puny mind. Millions and Billions of years of sweet relationship - broken on that day.
It wasn't the abandonment of His trusted people
It wasn't the beating
It wasn't the accusations
It wasn't the scourging...the spitting
It wasn't the thorny crown
It wasn't the rejection of the people who hailed Him Lord a few days ago
It wasn't the "Via Dolorosa"
... that hurt Him most...
It was the rejection of His most trusted Person...
The Person Whom He put all His hope into... The Person about Whom He told His disciples...you guys will all leave Me but He would never leave Me...
And for the first time in eternity, He had to cry out...why?why have You forsaken Me?
Still the pain was so great till eventhough He knew the reason, He asked anyway...
And it was this cry that guarrantee us never to cry out the same words again...
...I wonder why it was an angel who gave Him strength???
Now I know why those who reject him would go to hell cause the sacrifice was beyond anything imaginable
Now I know why that He only asks us to believe cause the price is so great and no human can pay for it
-- Too bad the Passion of the Christ movie only focussed on the scourging.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
The Purpose of Life
What exactly are we living for???
Ah...what a topic...
An atheist was asked - if you believe that there is no God and no life after death, what are you living for?
Answer: one sexual climax to another.
A New Age-r would answer - everything is spiritual, we are one with god (or whoever that spirit being is) - so keep on cultivating your spirit, that's the only thing that matters...
This ultimate question always pounds seekers all over the world and in all history of mankind.
Why does life exist? (alright - to give the benefit of the doubt that there may not be such a Being called The Creator)
Is it true that everything is relative, nothing is absolute...?
The more we think about it - the more questions we have...
Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever - Westminster Cathecism
And don't ever think that the above statement dissolves all questions about purpose of life..
Ah...what a topic...
An atheist was asked - if you believe that there is no God and no life after death, what are you living for?
Answer: one sexual climax to another.
A New Age-r would answer - everything is spiritual, we are one with god (or whoever that spirit being is) - so keep on cultivating your spirit, that's the only thing that matters...
This ultimate question always pounds seekers all over the world and in all history of mankind.
Why does life exist? (alright - to give the benefit of the doubt that there may not be such a Being called The Creator)
Is it true that everything is relative, nothing is absolute...?
The more we think about it - the more questions we have...
Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever - Westminster Cathecism
And don't ever think that the above statement dissolves all questions about purpose of life..
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Conversation with God 2
Man: God?
God: Yes?
Man: Why do You want to build a relationship with me?
God: Because I love you
Man: And why is that?
God: Because I love you
Man: Uhm...I've failed You so many times, so do You still love me?
God: Yes
Man: Even if You know that I will leave You?
God: Yes
Man: Why?
God: Because I love you
Man: But I'm not sure if I love You
God: It doesn't matter
Man: Why?
God: Because I love you
Man: But it matters to me
God: Why?
Man: I feel guilty...
God: So?
Man: So I don't know why You still love me
God: Because I love you
Man: ... (silence)
God: !!! (affirms)
God: Yes?
Man: Why do You want to build a relationship with me?
God: Because I love you
Man: And why is that?
God: Because I love you
Man: Uhm...I've failed You so many times, so do You still love me?
God: Yes
Man: Even if You know that I will leave You?
God: Yes
Man: Why?
God: Because I love you
Man: But I'm not sure if I love You
God: It doesn't matter
Man: Why?
God: Because I love you
Man: But it matters to me
God: Why?
Man: I feel guilty...
God: So?
Man: So I don't know why You still love me
God: Because I love you
Man: ...
God: !!! (affirms)
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Ramblings...
Happiness is not about getting what you want...it's about wanting what you get...
Sometimes we are so focused on what we want and miss the best things of life...in front of us...
Sometimes we are so focused on what we want and miss the best things of life...in front of us...
Conversation with God 1
Man:What is it that you want in me?
God:Just you.
Man:What do you want me to do?
God:Choose life not death!
Man:Why?
God:Cause it's better to die but live than to live but die..."
Man: Why did You create me?
God: So that you can know Me
Man: Why do we need to know You?
God: So that you can worship Me
Man: Uhmm....why do we need to worship You?
God: Uhmmmmmmmm....do you have better things to do???
God: Don't worry, I'm your Shield and your Great Reward.
Man: Uhmm....and why shouldn't I be worried?
God: ...???
Man: I mean, whenever I pray, You never give me what I have prayed for...
God: ...
Man: And I always got what I have never asked for...
God: ...
Man: ...
God: Do you trust Me?
Man: I don't know, it's hard to trust You.
God: Who do you trust then?
Man: I don't know, it's hard to trust others and myself too
God: Let's make a deal, shall we?
Man: What is the deal?
God: Trust Me to lead you through the ways that you've never thought before, and I will never fail you.
Man: ... that's all? Just trust?
God: That's all you need to do...after all, you have no-one else to trust... what say you?
Man: And what if I fail to trust You?
God: At least trust Me to make you trust Me...
Man: Who am I that You should care about my trust?
God: Would you believe My answer? ;)
God:Just you.
Man:What do you want me to do?
God:Choose life not death!
Man:Why?
God:Cause it's better to die but live than to live but die..."
Man: Why did You create me?
God: So that you can know Me
Man: Why do we need to know You?
God: So that you can worship Me
Man: Uhmm....why do we need to worship You?
God: Uhmmmmmmmm....do you have better things to do???
God: Don't worry, I'm your Shield and your Great Reward.
Man: Uhmm....and why shouldn't I be worried?
God: ...???
Man: I mean, whenever I pray, You never give me what I have prayed for...
God: ...
Man: And I always got what I have never asked for...
God: ...
Man: ...
God: Do you trust Me?
Man: I don't know, it's hard to trust You.
God: Who do you trust then?
Man: I don't know, it's hard to trust others and myself too
God: Let's make a deal, shall we?
Man: What is the deal?
God: Trust Me to lead you through the ways that you've never thought before, and I will never fail you.
Man: ... that's all? Just trust?
God: That's all you need to do...after all, you have no-one else to trust... what say you?
Man: And what if I fail to trust You?
God: At least trust Me to make you trust Me...
Man: Who am I that You should care about my trust?
God: Would you believe My answer? ;)
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