The Power of Love II - a tale of two sisters

And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her

בראשית 29:20

Once upon a time there was a sojourner or rather...a fugitive called Jacob. He had lived in a wealthy but dysfunctional family. He was wanted for his crime against his twin brother - accused for stealing his twin's birthright through some scheming ways administered by his mom - for his twin was born first. Back then, being the eldest son in a rich family had a super privilege that others could only envy...

Once upon a time there were two sisters - Leah and Rachel - born of distant relative of Jacob. And one is more beautiful than another...

And so, one day their paths of life crossed and the love story began...

The younger one - Rachel - had sparkling magical eyes that enlightened the depths of Jacob's soul. Rachel's eyes enchanted him, her smile intoxicated him, her voice caressed his ears and her dances filled his dreams...

And even though seven years of labor were required to win the love of his heart - he passed them like a few days. Whenever he was tired on the field, all he needed was to close his eyes and see her - and suddenly he would find the strength to go on...

See - How great the power of love is... How inexplicable...How indescribable...How unsearchable...and How unstoppable...

At last, the banquet was held after seven full years. Jacob was rapturously delightful - looking forward to the most anticipated time of his life - the wedding night. Nevertheless, when the morning came - he was up to find the most unexpected event of his life. The woman laid with him the night before was Leah...the unattractive one...*

The cheater was cheated...by the father in law. He was told that it was not appropriate to marry the younger one first - hence the swap. And to marry the younger one - he must work for another seven years...

Once again - love empowered Jacob to endure another seven years for the hand of Rachel...

But...what about Leah?

She was considered a mistake...a reject by her husband in name. She was there only to satisfy his hormonal rush. She was hurt, broken, lonely and forgotten...

Wait!...Forgotten? Not quite... The Master of destiny had not forgotten about her.

And when the Master saw that Leah was despised, He made her able to bear children, but Rachel was barren

בראשית 29:31

Oh...oh...look at that. The Master of destiny was tipping the balance of 'fairness'. One was unloved, another was loved. Being barren was considered as accursed. So He was 'blessing' the unloved one and 'cursing' the loved one.**

And so the race of winning Jacob's heart began. Leah kept on having children, Rachel did not. And if you look at the names of Leah's sons, you would see the obvious intent that both women were indeed in a race.

Reuben - See, a son. For the Master has seen my humiliation and affliction
Simeon - The Master hears. For the Master has heard that I am despised
Levi - Companion. Now my husband will accompany me even more
Judah - Praise. Now will I praise the Master
...

And the plot thickens. Rachel was angry and gave Jacob her maid servant so that she could bore children in Rachel's name and Leah did so too once she too stopped having children.

Imagine the pain Leah had gone through - knowing that the face in her man's mind was not her while he was on top of her, looking out through the window and saw him caressing her sister on the field, drifting through the lonely nights while he was with her sister, anxiously hoping that he would not change his mind on where to spend the night when her turn came, trying her best to serve him without getting the expected appreciation...all because she was the unwanted one...all because his heart was still toward Rachel.

Time passed by...

So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath...

בראשית 35:29

Fast forward further more...

And finally while Jacob was drawing his last breath...he charged his beloved son - Bury me with my fathers in the cave that was bought by my grandfather...where they were buried with their wives...where I buried Leah...

בראשית 49:29-31

I would call this a happy ending for Leah. Finally her man chose to be buried with her. Finally her man accepted her. Finally his heart was won. Finally...

And if you could ask Leah...was it worth it? I bet she would get out of the grave and scream "YES" on top of her lungs...

The same power that made Jacob endured 14 years of labor - had empowered Leah to endure even many times longer of emotional anguish.

I can't help but repeating these words again:

How great the power of love is... How inexplicable...How indescribable...How unsearchable...and How unstoppable...

Thus the love story ended...

...but love never ends...

...so let us create our own story...while we are not ended...

love never fails...

* Please understand that electricity was invented many many years later after the time of the story. Also maybe spending the wedding night in the dark was more romantic according to the custom at that time. Either way, the author never recommends sleeping with anyone in complete darkness - you never know whom you sleep with

** Later on He tipped the balance again by enabling Rachel to conceive

The Race

The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to men of understanding, nor favour to men of skill; but time and chance happen to them all.
- Jedidiah (est 1000BC - 928BC)

Veni Vidi Vici
- Julius Caesar (est 100BC - 44BC)

Sigh...

I'm not swift, I'm not strong, I'm not wise, I'm not skillful and my understanding may not exceed kindergarten level...

So it's comforting to hide behind the first words...

Or are those words true?

I've read an article about teaching "MBA" to 5 yr old kids (to think that I've got my MBA many many years after that). I know someone who is starting a venture to teach financial literacy to 9-18 yr olds. One of my country stops' employment market value certification so much that even 40 yr olds are still taking Masters degree, CFA, CPA, C**...

In sports world, athletes have sacrificed most of their lives to train and train and train. Basketball players shoot and dribble and shoot and dribble. Weightlifters...guess what...lift weights everyday without caring for their heights cause they want to reach another kind of heights. And for the less glorious scenarios, the need to win drove some of them to resort to unscrupulous ways and crowns were taken away from the disgraced ones.

All these...for what???

The second statement - I came...I saw...I conquered...

Ahhh...the smell of victory is so overwhelming that the thought of losing is so terrifying...

And so...many are pushing their limits to be victors of the race...

Makes me wonder... What is this race about?

By definition a race means an event where a group of people pit themselves against each other to be the best among them. It can be about who will be the fastest, the strongest, the wisest and so on. This event happens in so many facets of life and the final prize is - glory. I think it would be appropriate if I call the biggest race of all is - living a meaningful life.

And so - I wait...for my time and my chance...

- pay attention on Your servant oh Master. Do not tarry...do not delay...

The Purpose of Life III - My Left Foot

Just watched a DVD - My Left Foot...

An old movie starring Daniel Day Lewis playing Christy Brown. An Irish writer, artist; respected by many for his accomplishments...only by using his left foot...

He was born in 1932 with cerebral palsy - a condition that disabled most of his motoric neurons which affected his hands, his right foot, his arms...his speech...only his left foot is left... Doctors thought he wouldn't make it far and yet, years gone by and his life and his Mom's dedication in raising him were presented in an Academy Award winning movie.

Which made me think again...about the purpose of life...

Destiny...Hard work... ... ... Grace...

Someone asked me to blog about "How far does Destiny influence our lives? What about hard work? What about ... Grace?"

For someone who has read a lot (and still needs a lot more reading) about views on life, I believe in Fate. Someone said life is about 10% Fate, 90% Choice. I say life is Fated FIRST and Chosen LATER...period. Who are we to assign portions or importance between the two?

An old man said...Life is like a poker game. Well in real poker games, sometimes you could try to "engineer" the outcome by rigging it, but how could you rig the game of life? You are "fated" when the cards are assigned by the Dealer and then the Dealer watches how you play the cards and that's choice.

No big deal huh?...Not unless you're a Christy Brown.

He was fated with Cerebral Palsy and he chose to be a writer and artist.
He was fated to be imprisoned by himself for the rest of his life and he chose to free himself through his writings and paintings.

My mentee has a problem. She doesn't know what to choose between career and school life. Her parents were divorced and she lives with her mom. She knows the importance of being independent and making money, yet she couldn't leave the comfort of a 'care-free' school life. In this case I told her that she has to know what she wants to do in the future. There is an opportunity cost for every moment passed and don't just live and let the currents of life drift you.

Then the most feared question came... So dear mentor, what is the purpose of your life?

Shoot!!! Who am I to teach others about how to live their lives while I myself am still looking for the answers?

I'm asking her to live with a clear purpose in mind and yet I myself don't have a clue what I'm really supposed to do. I'm asking her not to drift and yet I myself am drifting aimlessly on this ocean of life. I know I'm going somewhere...but where?

I felt dirty...

But I tried to be as honest as possible to her. I told her that there are many things in life we can't control and what we could do for a start is trying to ensure that we're independent. For me, I will do my best to fulfill my basic needs and prepare myself to support my family.

And the next most feared question... So dear mentor, IS THAT ALL???!!! I thought someone at your level should aim for more...

Shoot!!!Shoot!!! That was also my question (if you read my previous entry). But I couldn't explain all these to her. Just like a parent who's protecting his child from the realities of life, I couldn't reveal too much about all these things to her. But maybe it was just my ego that prevented me to show to her how weak I am...

I told her that there are many levels of 'basic needs'. We all need clothes but of course there are different qualities of clothes. We all need a roof to live under but of course there are different qualities of roof.

And the questions stopped...either she was kind enough not to push me or she was satisfied... I don't know...

There was a dialogue in the movie that touched me: (btw, I'm not good with my memory, so this dialogue is not an exact copy from the movie)

Christy's Mom: I can't take all these money, it's more than what your father made in a year
Christy: It's alright mom, I got it through my writings, take it
Mom: But what am I going to do with it?
C: Well, for a start you could buy yourself new clothes, new shoes...
M: (cried)

Is that all? Is life about buying new clothes and shoes? For a lady of her calibre, new clothes and new shoes didn't matter to her at all. I guess she cried because she never expected her crippled son to accomplish so much.

Coming back to the three words above, here's the 'mapping' of Christy's life:

Destiny : Cerebral Palsy
Hard work : Novels, Paintings
Grace : ... Mom

How much of Destiny? How much of Hard work? How much of Grace? That determined the outcome of his life?

It's a stupid question... because it was never about how much of which. It was about how the three were joined together and braided a life story of his own.

And so are our life stories...braided by these three as the three legs support the stool...

Sigh... am I wasting my time writing this blog? My knowledge is still not improved... I am still drifting...

Maybe the Master Dealer purposely obscures my purpose of life...so that I make "seeking" as my purpose of life

And so I keep on seeking...

Dreams

Someone asked me to write about this. Ah...I really don't know what to say...

Everybody dreams. Some succeed, some fail. Some are satisfied, some are disappointed...

I belong to the second group...

Whatever I've wanted, whatever I've dreamt - they never materialize. The job that I have is not what I want. The life that I have is less than ideal. The look, the money, the...etc... sigh, the list never ends...

Contentment? That is a strange word to me. I've always wanted for more. "What's next?" is my regular question. "Is that all?" is my repeated cries.

I wonder what is wrong with me? There are too many unanswered whys in my mind. The more I ponder about them, the crazier I become.

Many people preach about expectation. Expect big things and pursue them, don't limit yourself, whenever there is a will, there is a way and blah and blah and blah, blah, blah...

I for one, don't really believe in those slogans. I've been disappointed enough to dream, to expect, to hope...

But wait...there has to be something more behind this business of dreaming...

Someone told me that a dream must fall onto the ground and die. Just like a seed, it has to die before it springs forth. It has to perish before it flourishes. A seed by itself means nothing and so does a dream. And once it matures, it'll yield fruits - more valuable than being just a seed.

By the way if we think about it, the seed is not the same anymore after it becomes the fruit yielding plant. And the whole process would take different time for every seed. And in the eyes of a botanist, this process is nothing short of being magical...

From seed to plant. From a dream to... something that is much more useful. The Master Craftsman is also The Master of Dreams, He knows what to make out of a simple seed. Hence we must not hold on to the seeds, we must release them into the ground of life and watch them die. Painful as it may, yet when we see the small sprouts breakforth - the joy would only be equal to a mother's sigh of relief after delivering and our pain is vindicated...

Sigh, so I could only wait with a broken heart...waiting for the day of deliverance and fulfillment to come...

Where are You?