The Purpose of Life IV - Is Enough...Good Enough?

What is Enough?
Why is it called Enough?
How to know it is Enough?
How much is Enough?
...

It is of no wonder that as a seeker, I must ask the inevitable questions above. Otherwise, it is tiring to keep on wanting for more. Just like drinking sea water - slowly dying of thirst...

I must admit, somehow I have never felt of having enough...I always want for more...

More money...
More friends...
More excitement...
More control...
More colors of life...
More ...

I also know enough to know that having more money is not enough, having more friends is not enough, having more excitement is not enough. Yet I also know that not having enough money is terrifying, not having enough friends is deadening and not having enough excitement is...guess what...boring...

(selah)

I like to let my mind wander...

At first I put myself as a rich and powerful man, having the authority that moves the wind and clouds...I feel cool, happy, satiated, afraid, tired...tormented...

Then I put myself as a pauper, being spat on, kicked at, looked down upon...I feel terrible, humiliated, afraid, tired...tormented...

Then I wake up...coming back to reality...that I am neither one of them...

It is definitely not fun to be rich and powerful, being surrounded by suckers who only want what I have and not who I really am. Day after day I must be wary of the people around me and guard my possessions with all vigilance because I am afraid to lose all the objects of my desires. Thus I feel scared, tired and tormented...

Neither it is pleasant to be poor and helpless, being unwanted and considered as the scum of the society (believe me, I know what I am talking about - I live in China where beggars are everywhere even in the trains). And thus I also fell scared, tired and tormented... This, I believe...needs no lengthy explanation...

Hence, I do not wish to be either one...since in the end...I still feel scared, tired and tormented...

Somehow I believe that somewhere between the two extremes is the "sweet spot" of life. Not too rich, not too poor, just enough...good enough...

Hey but, Good is the enemy of the Best...Average is the enemy of the Great...thus some people say... Question - How does one know what is best? How does one compare it with what is good? What is the standard? What is best for one may not be good enough to another. And what is considered best at a point in time may not be that good in retrospect. Hence, to me this statement sounds ridiculous, impractical and only serve as an "ear-candy"...

There is a saying in Chinese that translates roughly to "Family fortune may not last for more than three generations...". I have seen and learned that the first generation built it, the second generation squandered it and the third generation missed it (not to mention fourth...)

(selah)

Man: God?
God: Yes?
Man: Do You own the whole earth?
God: Uh-huh?
Man: If You really own the whole earth, why can't You give Your people what they want when they ask - just like my uncles and aunts to their children?
God: That is because I do not wish to destroy My people...
Man: ...

(selah)

I guess the point is not how much we can get...but it is how much we can manage without destroying ourselves...without finally being scared...tired...tormented...dead...

After all...one only cries out for more - when whatever one has...cannot achieve the desired objectives...So the question now is not about whether or not it is enough anymore, but are the objectives that one has - justifiable?

Sigh...

After all...maybe having enough...is good enough...

...give us today...our daily bread...
...so that there might be...
...more of You and less of me...

Focus II - Faith of a two year old

It was one typical afternoon in Sydney while I was riding a bus - I spotted this "poem" hanging on the ceiling.

A two year old faith

During a dark cloudy day I asked my two year old son...
What's the color of the sky?
He looked up and said...blue...
I said, "Look again..."
He looked for a while and said...blue...

Some cynical comments began to surface in my mind. Maybe the son was stupid, maybe his "color vocabulary" was limited to red - green - blue, maybe his dad never taught him well, maybe he was wearing blue colored sunglasses, maybe...

But something else came into my mind...

The clouds aren't the real color of the sky...The sky is always blue, no matter what...

This begs the question of focus...Are we focusing on what is before...or what is beyond...?

There are veils in life that can easily obscure our sights. Dreams, Imaginations, Successes, Failures, Education, Beliefs... Not to mention about the "information overload" problem that we currently have in this age of technology. We are getting more and more confused about what or where to focus on and our emotions are manipulated like a reed swayed by the wind - easily excited or threatened by the events presented before us.

Ah...is life really that complicated? Or am I complicating things?

Shouldn't I be like the two year old boy? Or maybe the older I am...the further away I drift from wisdom?

I guess I have to remind myself over and over again...

The sky is always blue...

...unless the night comes...

Sigh...

Show me Your way...that I may walk with You..

Focus

Someone said Focus not on the problem but on the solution...

The intent is so that one should not be overwhelmed by the problem and miss the solution, because it is believed that a solution lies within every perceived problem...

...is that a truism?...

One thought...if it's true that when we focus on the problem, we may not find the solution, then what if we really focus on the solution? We might not even solve the right problem...

Another thought...what if the "problem" is never meant to be solved? What if the "problem" itself is the solution? Would it be a waste of time trying to solve it instead of just living with it and focus the energy on something else?

Consider the making of a Pearl. Ask the oyster and he would tell you that the sand was irritating him...but he would not realize that the irritant was central to the process of producing exquisite gems adoring the necks of beautiful maidens...

Hence...Focus on neither the problem, nor the solution...

I posted this on my skype quote and sometime later, my boss commented:...then focus on what??

I laughed and I said I quoted this statement from a wise buddhist monk. He replied, "...no wonder - the statement is very vague and open to interpretation..."

I laughed again and admitted that I was the one who came up with it like flashes of light in my mind...

We humans are designed in a way that makes us hard to see the real big picture. The way our brain works is to focus on something before understanding anything. Don't believe me? Look around you...Look at the fights that happen...Most probably they are due to the inability to see the bigger picture and opposing parties are focusing on seemingly contradicting needs...

Since everyone needs a focus in life - hence my boss' question begs for an answer...

And so my answer is...Focus on the Purpose of the Problem... (but I didn't tell him - I let him ponder about it himself)

And I let you - whoever you are...to find the purpose of your problem...

Oh Master grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr

SO WHAT?!!!

I spent tens of thousands of dollars for my MBA and these words are some of the few things that still remain in my brain...

It's the ultimate statement...or rather...question- a test to all the analysis that we have painstakingly done - because there is no point in doing the wrong thing right...

And hence, I have decided to elevate the importance of these words and mesh them into my life principles...

Oh how I love these two words... I love shouting them because...

It's my challenge to all my problems...
It's my challenge to all my sadness...
It's my challenge to all my enemies...

and also my challenge to all the people I care...

Someone asked me these two related questions:

What is the highest point of one's life?
After what period one ceases to pursue the high point of life?

Not surprisingly - he's also a seeker...

Certain cultures regard achievements in different ways. Different societies infuse different ambitions and ideals to their individuals. An achievement to one could be regarded as a derision to another.

Then...what is considered as the "highest point"?

In life, one should find that after reaching the top of a mountain - there would be many higher peaks that previously were not sighted, because the view from below was very limited by the clouds above...

It's a never ending pursuit... Therefore one must ask himself before scaling:

So what if I reach this "highest point"? Because I am going to find another "higher point"...
So what if I reach this "highest point"? It is lonely at the top...
So what if I reach this "highest point"? And sacrifice the people I love...
SO WHAT?!!!

And so after asking all these questions and determine that the pain is worth it...then one can go on...

Cause nobody wants to be at the 'top' and feeling miserable...

I know this is not going to satisfy him as a seeker - this does not satisfy me either even as I'm typing these words...

Seekers want real not abstract answers...
Seekers want tangible goals not illusive ones...
Seekers are destination oriented and care less about the journey...

But for now...it's the best thing I've got...to keep me going...

so what if I'm an average person...
so what if I never reach my ultimate potentials...
so what if my journey is faltering...
so what if my dreams are never fulfilled...
so what if I must live with this emptiness...
...as long as I've got You...