Until The Last Moment

Sigh...

Have you ever felt a moment when hope was offered before you...and the next thing you knew...it was taken away from you...

Like vapour...transient...it was gone even before you fully understood what you were hoping for...

Worse still, in the span of this lifetime...I bet it would not happen only once...

Is someone trying to play games with our hearts?
Is someone having fun by giving and dashing the hopes harboured in our hearts?

I do not comprehend...I do not understand...
Neither do I see...nor do I realize...
The purpose of going through this painful experiences...

And so, the defense mechanism of the soul is activated...
Every time this happens...we become more and more skeptical...

Only for one intention...to avoid disappointments...

We're afraid to hope...we numb our feelings...
We're reluctant to cope...with the scars of our longings...

Not even a thousand sighs...are enough to ease the pain...

Yet...

In my heart of hearts...this have I found...that...

The hope is greater than the fear of hoping...
The feeling is deeper than the fear of feeling...
And those who dread dreams...are those who are alive but dead...

Argh...

My bones are burning with all these fiery contradictions...
My soul is weary with all these heavy contemplations...

Finally, I could only tell myself (and whoever reads this entry)...
Keep on hoping...
Keep on feeling...
Keep on...seeking...
No matter what the cost...
For that is what life is about...

I shalt put mine hope in Thee...even Until The Last Moment...