The Purpose of Life III - My Left Foot

Just watched a DVD - My Left Foot...

An old movie starring Daniel Day Lewis playing Christy Brown. An Irish writer, artist; respected by many for his accomplishments...only by using his left foot...

He was born in 1932 with cerebral palsy - a condition that disabled most of his motoric neurons which affected his hands, his right foot, his arms...his speech...only his left foot is left... Doctors thought he wouldn't make it far and yet, years gone by and his life and his Mom's dedication in raising him were presented in an Academy Award winning movie.

Which made me think again...about the purpose of life...

Destiny...Hard work... ... ... Grace...

Someone asked me to blog about "How far does Destiny influence our lives? What about hard work? What about ... Grace?"

For someone who has read a lot (and still needs a lot more reading) about views on life, I believe in Fate. Someone said life is about 10% Fate, 90% Choice. I say life is Fated FIRST and Chosen LATER...period. Who are we to assign portions or importance between the two?

An old man said...Life is like a poker game. Well in real poker games, sometimes you could try to "engineer" the outcome by rigging it, but how could you rig the game of life? You are "fated" when the cards are assigned by the Dealer and then the Dealer watches how you play the cards and that's choice.

No big deal huh?...Not unless you're a Christy Brown.

He was fated with Cerebral Palsy and he chose to be a writer and artist.
He was fated to be imprisoned by himself for the rest of his life and he chose to free himself through his writings and paintings.

My mentee has a problem. She doesn't know what to choose between career and school life. Her parents were divorced and she lives with her mom. She knows the importance of being independent and making money, yet she couldn't leave the comfort of a 'care-free' school life. In this case I told her that she has to know what she wants to do in the future. There is an opportunity cost for every moment passed and don't just live and let the currents of life drift you.

Then the most feared question came... So dear mentor, what is the purpose of your life?

Shoot!!! Who am I to teach others about how to live their lives while I myself am still looking for the answers?

I'm asking her to live with a clear purpose in mind and yet I myself don't have a clue what I'm really supposed to do. I'm asking her not to drift and yet I myself am drifting aimlessly on this ocean of life. I know I'm going somewhere...but where?

I felt dirty...

But I tried to be as honest as possible to her. I told her that there are many things in life we can't control and what we could do for a start is trying to ensure that we're independent. For me, I will do my best to fulfill my basic needs and prepare myself to support my family.

And the next most feared question... So dear mentor, IS THAT ALL???!!! I thought someone at your level should aim for more...

Shoot!!!Shoot!!! That was also my question (if you read my previous entry). But I couldn't explain all these to her. Just like a parent who's protecting his child from the realities of life, I couldn't reveal too much about all these things to her. But maybe it was just my ego that prevented me to show to her how weak I am...

I told her that there are many levels of 'basic needs'. We all need clothes but of course there are different qualities of clothes. We all need a roof to live under but of course there are different qualities of roof.

And the questions stopped...either she was kind enough not to push me or she was satisfied... I don't know...

There was a dialogue in the movie that touched me: (btw, I'm not good with my memory, so this dialogue is not an exact copy from the movie)

Christy's Mom: I can't take all these money, it's more than what your father made in a year
Christy: It's alright mom, I got it through my writings, take it
Mom: But what am I going to do with it?
C: Well, for a start you could buy yourself new clothes, new shoes...
M: (cried)

Is that all? Is life about buying new clothes and shoes? For a lady of her calibre, new clothes and new shoes didn't matter to her at all. I guess she cried because she never expected her crippled son to accomplish so much.

Coming back to the three words above, here's the 'mapping' of Christy's life:

Destiny : Cerebral Palsy
Hard work : Novels, Paintings
Grace : ... Mom

How much of Destiny? How much of Hard work? How much of Grace? That determined the outcome of his life?

It's a stupid question... because it was never about how much of which. It was about how the three were joined together and braided a life story of his own.

And so are our life stories...braided by these three as the three legs support the stool...

Sigh... am I wasting my time writing this blog? My knowledge is still not improved... I am still drifting...

Maybe the Master Dealer purposely obscures my purpose of life...so that I make "seeking" as my purpose of life

And so I keep on seeking...